お母さん - Okaasan

Just a few days ago, I'd received a phone call from one of my friends, saying that her mother had been hospitalized after taking a fall in the kitchen as she had lost her consciousness while cooking.

Just a few days after that, I'd heard a story written by a friend of mine when he was a lot younger. An idea came to me ever so quickly, and I decided to write it down on my notebook to remember it. It was written as, "Mum hanging clothes under the sun."

Yesterday, I was hiking with my good friend Zar. I talked to him about my ideas for FFXIX and the recent idea that I had come about, which was the one regarding a mother hanging clothes under the sun. I told Zar that I was really afraid to lose my mother, for she is the most supportive person in helping me pursue my dream. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose her.

Today, I was supposed to attend a project meeting for RE. My dad had driven me to a friend's house, and along the way, I had noticed that there was a funeral at somebody else's, but I ignored it anyway, for I had thought that it was insignificant.

I dropped off at my friend's house, knocked at the door and no one answered. I decided to get his neighbour to give him a call, for I had not brought my handphone along. My friend picked up the phone and told me where he was, coincidentally, he was at the funeral that I had saw earlier on. The funeral was held for the mother of one of his friends.

Thoughts rushed into my mind. I walked towards the funeral, caught a glimpse of it, and decided to head back home to process my thoughts into words. These things had all happened too coincidentally. It was pretty hard to accept them happening at one go.

I was back from my gramps' place, feeling the aches and pain that I had endured during school as our class had a gym lesson that day. I needed relief, I needed rest, I needed comfort. When I had reached home, I lay on the bed and closed my eyes, thinking that the pain and aches would all go away by lying there. I was about to fall asleep, when I felt hands at my feet, taking away the aches and pain, giving me strength and protection from harm. I opened my eyes, there was my mother, massaging my feet as though they were about to rot away if she had not, giving her best so that I would be able to sleep well that night. I smiled to myself deep down inside, thinking how wonderful it was to have a mother like her. I looked up at her, thanking her with a grin and went to sleep.

I was using the computer while waiting for the rest of my family to get back home from my gramps' place. My sisters and my mother were all watching a movie, while my father was overseas. I waited for the phone call that would soon be heard, enjoying my time watching anime and playing games. The phone rang as I had expected, I took it and heard much nagging from the caller, it was my mother. She screamed at me for no reason at all, asking me to get ready to leave and simply put down the phone after that. I was angry, for I had always hated people who vented their anger on me for no reason at all. I stomped out of my gramps' place, took a lift down, and started lecturing and reasoning out with my mother for what she had done, forcing out an apology from her for the wrong that she had done earlier on.

I was talking with my mother about my dream of becoming the character designer for Square Enix, she looked hesitant for a moment, but gave me a smile a few moments later. She listened to me about what I had always wanted to do, what I intended to do, and how I had wanted to go about achieving this particular goal of mine. She looked worried while she was listening, perhaps she thought that I would neglect my studies currently in order to achieve this particular dream of mine. I could read her thoughts too, but she smiled anyway, giving me moral support by doing so.

I talked to my mother again about what I had wanted to do this December holidays. I wanted to get myself a new computer, design a room for myself, take art lessons, take japanese language lessons, work out at the gym every alternate days etc. She looked at me and told me, "My boss said that I should really support you, since you're so determined to achieve this dream of yours, I guess your computer's covered by me then." I looked at my mother and I felt a strong urge to hug her. However, I hesitated, for I was already a young man at this point of time, thus, I just gave her a grin like I always did, and thanked her.

I was talking to Zar during the hike, that I was afraid to lose my mother at this point of time. She was the most supportive person that I had ever had, and it would be really painful to lose her right now. I told Zar that I had accepted Death, and I knew that everyone was going to die one day, but I just could not imagine how I was going to live without my mother if she were to leave one day.

In a breezy and sunny morning, on a hill with only a tree and cottage accompanying it, a woman in her apron was busy hanging clothes that she had just finished washing, placing them neatly on the clothesline that were situated beside the cottage. A little boy was panting as he got higher up the hill, looking up at the woman who was his mother. He had just come back home from school, it was horrid, he had almost cried in class after getting bullied by his friends, he felt that life was not as good as he had expected to be. The boy continued walking up the hill as he relived the memories at school, tears were hanging on his cheeks as he made his way up.

The woman on the hill looked down the slope, watching her son making his way back home slowly. She was looking at her son while she started to slow down her pace of hanging clothes. When the boy had finally looked up at her, the woman gave him a warm smile, dropped the clothes that she was hanging into a basket sitting beside her, and started walking towards the boy whilst wiping the sweat of her face.

The boy looked into his mother's eyes, he felt protected, he felt loved, and he felt as though all the pain he had endured during school were long separated from him. The boy sped up towards his mother, arms wide open, and then fell flat right in his face just when he was about to reach his mother.

The woman gave a little gasp, hurried and took a look at her son. The boy looked up, saw his mother and quickly got himself up. The woman took her apron and wiped the dirt off her son's little face. The boy grabbed his mother at her apron and tucked his head into it, he felt hands stroking his hair, and he grabbed at the apron even harder. He later looked up while his mother had placed her hands around his head, looking down at his eyes. The mother and son looked into each other's eyes. The mother gave her son a smile, while her son started laughing away.

The boy blinked, it started to rain, there were no clothes being hung outside, there was no cottage beside the tree, there was not a single soul around. His mother was not there.

"Okaasan?" he asked.

"Okaasan..." he whispered.

"Okaasan!" he yelled.

No one responded.